With that said, what do you think happens when pun and cheese get together, or cheese melts with a pun? You get a burst of jokes that are range from good to ‘grate’.
If you love cheese and good jokes, then these cheese puns are for you. Read through these 170 puns on cheese and have a good laugh.
Cheese Puns
I am fondue you.
(I am fond of you. Fondue is a dip made of a mixture of cheeses.)
How do you propose to your crush who loves cheese?
Tell them, “Brie mine.” (Be mine. Brie is a soft, white dessert cheese.)
What do you tell your cheesy ex?
I’m cheddar off without you. (I’m better off without you. Cheddar is a popular type of cheese with a mild to sharp flavor and can be natural white to pumpkin orange in color.)
You gouda have a brie-lliant birthday pal. I swiss you the best in life.
(You gotta have a brilliant birthday pal. I wish you the best in life. Gouda is a semi-hard cheese with a smooth flavor. It comes in a distinct red rind.)
What did the mo’tofu’tional (motivational) speaker tell the audience?
Cheese the day and always brie you. Take life cheesy. You gouda take the good with the bad.
(Seize the day and always be you. Take life easy. You got to take the good with the bad.)
Why did the aged cheddar go to the R-rated film?
Because he was mature for his age. (An aged cheese is left to cure for a certain time interval to enrich the taste and add flavor to it.)
What did the priest say to express his admiration for his Lord and cheese?
Praise Cheeses. (Praise Jesus.)
Whey don’t you retort back? I’d be feta up if I were you but you’re so cheesygoing.
(Why don’t you retort back? I’d be fed up if I were you but you’re so easy-going. The liquid strained out after curdling cheese is called whey, while feta is a tangy and crumbly cheese made primarily from goat’s milk.)
What did MozzarELLA sing in Molten? Let it Brie.
(What did Elsa sing in Frozen? Let it go. Mozzarella is a type of cheese made by stretching and pulling into strands and melts well.)
Did the news of the fire in the cheese factory reach you?
Yes, I heard it’s full of de-brie there. (Yes, I heard it’s full of debris there.)
What do you tell an attractive person at a party?
You look mozarr-hella grate. (You look hella great.)
There’s nothing that could get cheddar than this.
(There’s nothing that could get better than this.)
Make America Grate Again, said Mr. President.
(Make America Great Again, said Mr.President.)
Do you brie-lieve in ghosts?
(Do you believe in ghosts?)
What book was Swiss cheese reading?
Fifty Shades of Gruyere. (Fifty Shades of Grey. Gruyere is a type of Swiss cheese known for its fruity, nutty, and earthy flavors.)
This is a gruyere area, i’rennet?
(This is a grey area, isn’t it?)
Whey could never brie cheddar than you, My Lord.
(We could never be better than you, My Lord.)
Why was the cheese sad?
Because his mother did not give him parmesan for a sleepover. (Because his mother did not give him permission for a sleepover. Parmesan is a hard cheese with a gritty texture.)
Why can’t cheddar sing well?
They’re too sharp for it. (Cheddar cheese is cured cheese, known for its sharp and acidic mouth-feel.)
What do you call an elite cheese?
It’s well-cultured.
What can you tell a cheesy friend who’s not in a good mood?
I’m sorry you’re feeling blue, but ricotta gets out of this. (I’m sorry you’re feeling blue, but you gotta get out of this. Ricotta is a firm and smooth cheese with a light flavor.)
Why did the cheese block carry a fire extinguisher always?
To use in queso emergency. (To use in case of emergency.)
Why did the cheese loathe the butter?
Coz’ the butter told everyone that he was butter than cheese. (better than cheese)
Why is Swiss cheese respected so much?
Because it’s hole-y. (Because it’s holy.)
You gouda cheddar few pounds as you’ve started an all-cheese diet now.
(You gotta shed a few pounds as you’ve started an all-cheese diet now.)
Which cheese is the proudest?
Cheddar as he feels he’s cheddar than others. (Cheddar as he feels he’s better than others.)
What advice did the cheese tell?
To brie or not to brie, but gouda be the best. (To be or not to be, but gotta be the best.)
Was that a cheesy joke?
Nevermind, it was no gouda. (Nevermind, it was no good.)
Why didn’t the movie starring the Swiss actor flop?
The plot had too many holes.
Have you grown fatter?
I think that’s nacho problem. (I think that’s not your problem.)
Mrs. Roquefort appears as though her looks curd kill.
(Mrs. Roquefort appears as though her looks could kill. Roquefort is a blue cheese that acquires its blue veins or spots due to being cultured with Penicillium roqueforti.)
What did the cheese at the club tell after a match?
Lay down your curds on the table. (Lay down your cards on the table.)
Yogurt and buttermilk left the cheesy party saying, “Ricotta get going, we’re rennet late. ”
(We gotta get going, we’re running late.)
What did Marie ask the newcomer?
Are you the new-brie here? (Are you the newbie here?)
He camembert us, he’s got parmesan.
(He can’t remember us, he’s got amnesia. Camembert is a bland, hard, and crumbly cheese that smoothens with aging. It has a rich, buttery flavor.)
What did the cheese besties tell each other?
You’re my soul Swiss-ter. (You’re my soul sister.)
Why did mozzarella leave early from the show?
Because the announcer said he was grateful for her presence.
What did the photographer tell the mouse?
Say cheese!
I don’t find cottage cheese in this menu card.
Oh, check under the a la curd section. (a la carte)
What song does cheese listen to on loop?
You Brie-long With Me by Taylor Swiss. (You Belong WIth Me by Taylor Swift)
How did the cheese get to become a doctor in philosophy?
Because his the-swiss was accepted. (Because his thesis was accepted.)
Would you like some extra cheese?
No thanks, I’m gouda. (No thanks, I’m good.)
What havarti you done? You’re up to no gouda.
(What have you done? You’re up to no good. Havarti is a buttery-tasting, semi-soft cheese.)
Why don’t you work with that cheese? He seems very soft.
No way, he’s a muenster, only if you knew. (He’s a monster. Muenster is a smooth, pale yellow cheese tasting mild to sharp.)
What did Dobby tell after receiving cheese from his master?
Dobby is a brie elf. (Dobby is a free elf.)
What do you call a circular cheese?
Fris-brie. (Frisbee)
Why don’t you let your son be free?
He’s up to no gouda.
What do you call a cheese that is made backward?
Edam. (It is a pale yellow, semi-hard cheese with a red rind.)
Which cheese do you think the lion likes the most?
Roar-quefort (Roquefort)
Which musicians do cheeses like to listen to?
Brieonce, Taylor Swiss and Justin Brie-ber. (Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber)
Should you slice or melt the cheese for this dish?
Neither. I have grater plans.
What did the cheese family tell the lone traveler?
Do stay with us, you don’t have to be prov-alone. (Provolone is a semi-hard cheese that’s a pale yellow to whitish.)
What did the pasta tell when cheese returned?
I’ve grown fondue in your absence. (I’ve grown fond of you in your absence.)
Why haven’t you visited Switzerland since last time?
I found out that my arch neme-Swiss lives there. (nemesis)
I hope I don’t sound cheesy, but you’re grate. What did the ghost tell when it met the cheese?
Don’t be afraid, I’m Lac-ghost Intolerant. (Lactose Intolerant)
How do you start an argument with cheese?
I beg to disa-brie. (I beg to disagree.)
Did the cheese deserve to be promoted?
Well, he’s done a gouda job. (Well, he’s done a good job.)
What did the cheesy mom tell her daughter before she left for a birthday party?
Wish you a Brie-lliant birthday, dear. Have a hole lot of fun and be caerphilly. (Have a whole lot of fun and be careful.)
Why didn’t the cheese show up to the exam?
He was afraid of the grate he’d score.
How did the comedian tackle after a poor show on-stage?
He said that the audience was laugh-tose intolerant.
Why is she sad after the meal?
She had blue cheese in her meal.
What happened to the man who forgot to use colander while making mac ‘n cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What food does a cheese-loving rapper like?
Feta and paneer (w)rap
Which cheese is the musician’s favorite?
Mozart-Ella. (Mozzarella)
Will a cheese share his secret with you?
No, coz’ he cantal. (No, because he can’t tell.)
Why was the cheese shop owner arrested?
Because he sold a muenster. (He sold a monster.)
What happened to the cheese shop after the cyclone?
It was lost in the de brie. (it was lost in the debris.)
Where do cheese-loving tourists stay at?
The Stilton. (The Hilton)
Why did the shop owner stop selling cheese?
He was tired of the daily (g)rind.
What were the last words of shredded mozzarella?
I’m falling to pizzas. (I’m falling to pieces.)
Who were the first lovers of cheese ever?
Edam and Eve. (Adam and Eve.)
My cheesy boyfriend took me for granted, Brie.
How dairy? (How dare he?)
What annoys a cheese?
The fact that everyone around it is crackers.
What did the Cheese Emperor build to protect his castle?
Roquefort.
How do you feel after the relationship now?
I feel prov-alone.
How do you wish a cheese fanatic?
Have a gouda. (Have a good day.)
What family wisdom do cheeses pass on?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
How do you know when cheese is depressed?
They turn blue.
How do you share cheese with a wild animal?
Caerphilly. (Carefully.)
Why do you carry tortilla chips everywhere you go?
In queso emergency.
Do you have an addiction to cheddar cheese?
Yeah, it’s only mild.
Do you know what the salesman at the Swiss cheese shop said?
Never mind, it’s too gouda to be true and I think it’s holy a business move. (Never mind, it’s too good to be true and I think it’s wholly a business move.)
What did one cheese tell the other after they dressed up?
Don’t we look gouda together?
What genre of music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
Why did Brie swipe left on Cheddar?
His lines were too sharp.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What did the cheese tell his soulmate at their wedding?
You’ll always brie a part of me. (You’ll always be a part of me.)
What message did the army cheese get from home?
Camembert soon, we’ll brie waiting for you. (Come back soon, we’ll be waiting for you.)
What music does Swiss cheese listen to?
Hole-y and heavy emmentaler. (holy and heavy metal)
Which dance does nacho dance to?
Salsa.
Why was the melting boy upset after the date?
The girl said, “I’m nacho your ordinary girl.” (I’m not your ordinary girl.)
Which cheese should be handled with care?
Cheddar, coz it’s sharp.
Why did the block of cheese go to the gym?
To shred some pounds.
Which cheese has a good name?
Gouda cheese.
What did salsa tell cheese dip?
Don’t touch them, they are nachos. (Don’t touch them, they are not yours.)
What did Mr. Cheese tell his therapist?
Whey would I brie if it weren’t for you! (Where would I be if it weren’t for you.)
What did Professor Ricotta tell before the tough exam?
Feel at cheese, students. Wishing you all gouda luck! (Feel at ease, students. Wishing you all good luck!)
Why can’t you trust camembert?
Because it’s no gouda. (Because it’s no good.)
It is cheddar to give than to receive.
(It is better to give than to receive.)
What is the difference between Swiss cheese and Emmental cheese?
I’m hole-ly unaware of that. (I’m wholly unaware of that.)
What did he say on seeing the cheese when he stepped out?
It’s a gouda sign. (It’s a good sign.)
Why do you admire him so much?
He’s nacho average person. (He’s not your average person.)
Which cheese hurts the most?
Cheddar, coz it’s extremely sharp.
How did the cheeses invite their guest?
It is gouda to have you with us. (It is good to have you with us.)
It is feta to brie safe than sow-whey.
(It is better to be safe than sorry.)
Why are the trucks covered in mozzarella?
Because it’s a cheesy pickup line.
Is Parmesan a girl or a boy?
It’s a boy coz Parme-son.
Which cheese procrastinates a lot?
Provolone, coz it is a Pro at it.
Which cheese hides from others?
Mascarpone. (It is a soft and thick cheese with a smooth, creamy texture and high-fat content.)
Did you watch that film on cheese?
Yes, it was G-rated.
Why was cream cheese banned entry during the pandemic?
Because it spreads.
Where’s the cheese grater?
Some prefer France while others say England. It all depends on your taste.
Why did the Greeks stop eating cheese?
They grew feta with it. (They grew fatter with it.)
Did you buy any cheese?
Yes, I bought a Stil’ton’.
What did Mac say when he saw her??
I think cheese the one. (I think she’s the one.)
What do cheeses of color face?
Racial dis’cream’ination. (Racial discrimination)
How do cheese text?
With Emo-cheese. (With Emojis.)
How would cheese start a journal entry?
Dear dairy… (Dear diary)
What do you call a talkative cheese?
Cheddarbox. (Chatterbox)
What was the salted cheese doing?
It was enjoying the seaside brie’ze. (breeze)
Which subject is cheese’s favorite?
Algebrie. (Algebra)
What’s the secret society of cheese called?
Halloumi-nati. (Illuminati. Halloumi is a cheese made from goat or sheep milk with a texture like a mozzarella.)
What is cheese’s political party called?
The Feta-ral Party (Federal)
What do you call when cheese meets?
They have a rind-ezvous. (They have a rendezvous.)
Why do you say he works in a cheese shop?
Because he goes to a companeer. (Company)
I don’t give edam how he goes.
(I don’t give a damn how he goes.)
What would a male cheese have?
An Edam’s apple. (An Adam’s apple)
How did the bread invite the cheese?
We’re grilled to have you with us. (We’re thrilled to have you with us.)
What do you call a pair of naughty cheese?
Partners in cream. (Partners in crime.)
What does a cheese do when one of them dies?
They do a ‘cream’ation. (They do a cremation.)
Which cheese has its own home?
Cottage cheese.
Why did the cheese get emotional?
It was full of grate-itude. (It was full of gratitude.)
Why is cheese valuable?
Because it is worth its ‘whey’t in mold. (worth its weight in gold)
What did one cheese tell its pal when it got shredded?
I’m hanging by the last shred. Be caerphil, you curd be next pal!
(I’m hanging by the last thread. Be careful, you could be next pal!)
I’m confused. Which whey do we go? (way)How is French cheese honored?
By paying them a Fromage. (By paying them a homage. Fromage is the French word for cheese.)
Why did the cheese complain?
Because it was served with wine. (whine)
Why were the cheeses sitting idly on the table?
Because it was cheese bored. (Cheeseboard)
What do you call a cheese that paints?
Artisan cheese.
What does cheese build at the beach?
They build a Roquefort.
I left the argument saying, “Who am I to dis-a-brie?”Why was the cheese delighted to see the pasta?
Seeing macs her happy. (Seeing makes her happy.)
How does cheese propose?
In queso didn’t know it, I’m fondue. (In case you didn’t know, I’m fond of you.)
What does a curious cheese say?
Whey not? (Why not?)
What does a furious cheese say?
My blood is curdling now.
What did the cheese buddies watch on movie night?
Netflix & cheese with Home Provolone. (Home Alone)
Where does cheese live?
In a cottage.
What does a pregnant cheese have?
It has a Babybel.
How does cheese introduce someone?
Halloumi to introduce… (Allow me to introduce..)
What comments did cheese receive on his assignment?
This is nacho best work. You gouda get feta. (This is not your best work. You gotta get better.)
Which cheese is the greatest of all time?
Goat cheese. (G.O.A.T.)
Why was the leader cheese annoyed at the others?
They were not acting mature for their age.
I shot a mouse on my camera. Although he didn’t say cheese, I could tell he was thinking of it. I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.
I’m sorry, we only accept cash.
Which holiday does cheese celebrate happily?
Christmas, due to the birth of Chees-us.
When does cheese go missing?
When it is pasteurized. (When it is past your eyes.)
Which cheese is the best at car racing?
Brie, coz it won the Grand Brie
What happens when a cheese cries?
It has a meltdown.
Why are you scared of that cheese?
Because he’s a muenster.
Which continent did the cheese travel to?
Asiago
Why is the cheese blue?
Because it was given some Penicillium.
What do you get when you combine a Mexican wrap with mozzarella and cream?
Burrata
What did the cheese who got amnesia say?
I camembert anything. (I can’t remember anything.)
What happened to the old cheese store?
It crumbled down.
What did the cheese tell when his friend left?
Colby when you reach home. (Call me when you reach home.)
Why did the burglar rush out of the Swiss family’s home?
Because their cheese had eyes on him.
What if cheese starred in Godzilla?
They’d have named it Gorgonzola then. (Gorgonzola is one of the world’s oldest blue cheese with a crumbly texture and sharp taste.)
Why does that burger stink?
Because it’s a Limb-urger. (Limburger is a cheese with a pungent and stinky odor with a mild flavor.)
Which cheese is Italian but sounds Roman?
Pecorino Romano.
Puns are there for every moment, be it to share a joke, or to reminisce a cringe-worthy moment, add some cheesy lines to crackle them up. They’ll make you laugh out loud and remind you of a good old-fashioned cheeseboard.
These cheese puns are sure to make your audience laugh out loud. They’re also great for kids since they can use them as their jokes.
title: “Best Cheese Puns” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Janet Horne”
With that said, what do you think happens when pun and cheese get together, or cheese melts with a pun? You get a burst of jokes that are range from good to ‘grate’.
If you love cheese and good jokes, then these cheese puns are for you. Read through these 170 puns on cheese and have a good laugh.
Cheese Puns
I am fondue you.
(I am fond of you. Fondue is a dip made of a mixture of cheeses.)
How do you propose to your crush who loves cheese?
Tell them, “Brie mine.” (Be mine. Brie is a soft, white dessert cheese.)
What do you tell your cheesy ex?
I’m cheddar off without you. (I’m better off without you. Cheddar is a popular type of cheese with a mild to sharp flavor and can be natural white to pumpkin orange in color.)
You gouda have a brie-lliant birthday pal. I swiss you the best in life.
(You gotta have a brilliant birthday pal. I wish you the best in life. Gouda is a semi-hard cheese with a smooth flavor. It comes in a distinct red rind.)
What did the mo’tofu’tional (motivational) speaker tell the audience?
Cheese the day and always brie you. Take life cheesy. You gouda take the good with the bad.
(Seize the day and always be you. Take life easy. You got to take the good with the bad.)
Why did the aged cheddar go to the R-rated film?
Because he was mature for his age. (An aged cheese is left to cure for a certain time interval to enrich the taste and add flavor to it.)
What did the priest say to express his admiration for his Lord and cheese?
Praise Cheeses. (Praise Jesus.)
Whey don’t you retort back? I’d be feta up if I were you but you’re so cheesygoing.
(Why don’t you retort back? I’d be fed up if I were you but you’re so easy-going. The liquid strained out after curdling cheese is called whey, while feta is a tangy and crumbly cheese made primarily from goat’s milk.)
What did MozzarELLA sing in Molten? Let it Brie.
(What did Elsa sing in Frozen? Let it go. Mozzarella is a type of cheese made by stretching and pulling into strands and melts well.)
Did the news of the fire in the cheese factory reach you?
Yes, I heard it’s full of de-brie there. (Yes, I heard it’s full of debris there.)
What do you tell an attractive person at a party?
You look mozarr-hella grate. (You look hella great.)
There’s nothing that could get cheddar than this.
(There’s nothing that could get better than this.)
Make America Grate Again, said Mr. President.
(Make America Great Again, said Mr.President.)
Do you brie-lieve in ghosts?
(Do you believe in ghosts?)
What book was Swiss cheese reading?
Fifty Shades of Gruyere. (Fifty Shades of Grey. Gruyere is a type of Swiss cheese known for its fruity, nutty, and earthy flavors.)
This is a gruyere area, i’rennet?
(This is a grey area, isn’t it?)
Whey could never brie cheddar than you, My Lord.
(We could never be better than you, My Lord.)
Why was the cheese sad?
Because his mother did not give him parmesan for a sleepover. (Because his mother did not give him permission for a sleepover. Parmesan is a hard cheese with a gritty texture.)
Why can’t cheddar sing well?
They’re too sharp for it. (Cheddar cheese is cured cheese, known for its sharp and acidic mouth-feel.)
What do you call an elite cheese?
It’s well-cultured.
What can you tell a cheesy friend who’s not in a good mood?
I’m sorry you’re feeling blue, but ricotta gets out of this. (I’m sorry you’re feeling blue, but you gotta get out of this. Ricotta is a firm and smooth cheese with a light flavor.)
Why did the cheese block carry a fire extinguisher always?
To use in queso emergency. (To use in case of emergency.)
Why did the cheese loathe the butter?
Coz’ the butter told everyone that he was butter than cheese. (better than cheese)
Why is Swiss cheese respected so much?
Because it’s hole-y. (Because it’s holy.)
You gouda cheddar few pounds as you’ve started an all-cheese diet now.
(You gotta shed a few pounds as you’ve started an all-cheese diet now.)
Which cheese is the proudest?
Cheddar as he feels he’s cheddar than others. (Cheddar as he feels he’s better than others.)
What advice did the cheese tell?
To brie or not to brie, but gouda be the best. (To be or not to be, but gotta be the best.)
Was that a cheesy joke?
Nevermind, it was no gouda. (Nevermind, it was no good.)
Why didn’t the movie starring the Swiss actor flop?
The plot had too many holes.
Have you grown fatter?
I think that’s nacho problem. (I think that’s not your problem.)
Mrs. Roquefort appears as though her looks curd kill.
(Mrs. Roquefort appears as though her looks could kill. Roquefort is a blue cheese that acquires its blue veins or spots due to being cultured with Penicillium roqueforti.)
What did the cheese at the club tell after a match?
Lay down your curds on the table. (Lay down your cards on the table.)
Yogurt and buttermilk left the cheesy party saying, “Ricotta get going, we’re rennet late. ”
(We gotta get going, we’re running late.)
What did Marie ask the newcomer?
Are you the new-brie here? (Are you the newbie here?)
He camembert us, he’s got parmesan.
(He can’t remember us, he’s got amnesia. Camembert is a bland, hard, and crumbly cheese that smoothens with aging. It has a rich, buttery flavor.)
What did the cheese besties tell each other?
You’re my soul Swiss-ter. (You’re my soul sister.)
Why did mozzarella leave early from the show?
Because the announcer said he was grateful for her presence.
What did the photographer tell the mouse?
Say cheese!
I don’t find cottage cheese in this menu card.
Oh, check under the a la curd section. (a la carte)
What song does cheese listen to on loop?
You Brie-long With Me by Taylor Swiss. (You Belong WIth Me by Taylor Swift)
How did the cheese get to become a doctor in philosophy?
Because his the-swiss was accepted. (Because his thesis was accepted.)
Would you like some extra cheese?
No thanks, I’m gouda. (No thanks, I’m good.)
What havarti you done? You’re up to no gouda.
(What have you done? You’re up to no good. Havarti is a buttery-tasting, semi-soft cheese.)
Why don’t you work with that cheese? He seems very soft.
No way, he’s a muenster, only if you knew. (He’s a monster. Muenster is a smooth, pale yellow cheese tasting mild to sharp.)
What did Dobby tell after receiving cheese from his master?
Dobby is a brie elf. (Dobby is a free elf.)
What do you call a circular cheese?
Fris-brie. (Frisbee)
Why don’t you let your son be free?
He’s up to no gouda.
What do you call a cheese that is made backward?
Edam. (It is a pale yellow, semi-hard cheese with a red rind.)
Which cheese do you think the lion likes the most?
Roar-quefort (Roquefort)
Which musicians do cheeses like to listen to?
Brieonce, Taylor Swiss and Justin Brie-ber. (Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber)
Should you slice or melt the cheese for this dish?
Neither. I have grater plans.
What did the cheese family tell the lone traveler?
Do stay with us, you don’t have to be prov-alone. (Provolone is a semi-hard cheese that’s a pale yellow to whitish.)
What did the pasta tell when cheese returned?
I’ve grown fondue in your absence. (I’ve grown fond of you in your absence.)
Why haven’t you visited Switzerland since last time?
I found out that my arch neme-Swiss lives there. (nemesis)
I hope I don’t sound cheesy, but you’re grate. What did the ghost tell when it met the cheese?
Don’t be afraid, I’m Lac-ghost Intolerant. (Lactose Intolerant)
How do you start an argument with cheese?
I beg to disa-brie. (I beg to disagree.)
Did the cheese deserve to be promoted?
Well, he’s done a gouda job. (Well, he’s done a good job.)
What did the cheesy mom tell her daughter before she left for a birthday party?
Wish you a Brie-lliant birthday, dear. Have a hole lot of fun and be caerphilly. (Have a whole lot of fun and be careful.)
Why didn’t the cheese show up to the exam?
He was afraid of the grate he’d score.
How did the comedian tackle after a poor show on-stage?
He said that the audience was laugh-tose intolerant.
Why is she sad after the meal?
She had blue cheese in her meal.
What happened to the man who forgot to use colander while making mac ‘n cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What food does a cheese-loving rapper like?
Feta and paneer (w)rap
Which cheese is the musician’s favorite?
Mozart-Ella. (Mozzarella)
Will a cheese share his secret with you?
No, coz’ he cantal. (No, because he can’t tell.)
Why was the cheese shop owner arrested?
Because he sold a muenster. (He sold a monster.)
What happened to the cheese shop after the cyclone?
It was lost in the de brie. (it was lost in the debris.)
Where do cheese-loving tourists stay at?
The Stilton. (The Hilton)
Why did the shop owner stop selling cheese?
He was tired of the daily (g)rind.
What were the last words of shredded mozzarella?
I’m falling to pizzas. (I’m falling to pieces.)
Who were the first lovers of cheese ever?
Edam and Eve. (Adam and Eve.)
My cheesy boyfriend took me for granted, Brie.
How dairy? (How dare he?)
What annoys a cheese?
The fact that everyone around it is crackers.
What did the Cheese Emperor build to protect his castle?
Roquefort.
How do you feel after the relationship now?
I feel prov-alone.
How do you wish a cheese fanatic?
Have a gouda. (Have a good day.)
What family wisdom do cheeses pass on?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
How do you know when cheese is depressed?
They turn blue.
How do you share cheese with a wild animal?
Caerphilly. (Carefully.)
Why do you carry tortilla chips everywhere you go?
In queso emergency.
Do you have an addiction to cheddar cheese?
Yeah, it’s only mild.
Do you know what the salesman at the Swiss cheese shop said?
Never mind, it’s too gouda to be true and I think it’s holy a business move. (Never mind, it’s too good to be true and I think it’s wholly a business move.)
What did one cheese tell the other after they dressed up?
Don’t we look gouda together?
What genre of music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
Why did Brie swipe left on Cheddar?
His lines were too sharp.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What did the cheese tell his soulmate at their wedding?
You’ll always brie a part of me. (You’ll always be a part of me.)
What message did the army cheese get from home?
Camembert soon, we’ll brie waiting for you. (Come back soon, we’ll be waiting for you.)
What music does Swiss cheese listen to?
Hole-y and heavy emmentaler. (holy and heavy metal)
Which dance does nacho dance to?
Salsa.
Why was the melting boy upset after the date?
The girl said, “I’m nacho your ordinary girl.” (I’m not your ordinary girl.)
Which cheese should be handled with care?
Cheddar, coz it’s sharp.
Why did the block of cheese go to the gym?
To shred some pounds.
Which cheese has a good name?
Gouda cheese.
What did salsa tell cheese dip?
Don’t touch them, they are nachos. (Don’t touch them, they are not yours.)
What did Mr. Cheese tell his therapist?
Whey would I brie if it weren’t for you! (Where would I be if it weren’t for you.)
What did Professor Ricotta tell before the tough exam?
Feel at cheese, students. Wishing you all gouda luck! (Feel at ease, students. Wishing you all good luck!)
Why can’t you trust camembert?
Because it’s no gouda. (Because it’s no good.)
It is cheddar to give than to receive.
(It is better to give than to receive.)
What is the difference between Swiss cheese and Emmental cheese?
I’m hole-ly unaware of that. (I’m wholly unaware of that.)
What did he say on seeing the cheese when he stepped out?
It’s a gouda sign. (It’s a good sign.)
Why do you admire him so much?
He’s nacho average person. (He’s not your average person.)
Which cheese hurts the most?
Cheddar, coz it’s extremely sharp.
How did the cheeses invite their guest?
It is gouda to have you with us. (It is good to have you with us.)
It is feta to brie safe than sow-whey.
(It is better to be safe than sorry.)
Why are the trucks covered in mozzarella?
Because it’s a cheesy pickup line.
Is Parmesan a girl or a boy?
It’s a boy coz Parme-son.
Which cheese procrastinates a lot?
Provolone, coz it is a Pro at it.
Which cheese hides from others?
Mascarpone. (It is a soft and thick cheese with a smooth, creamy texture and high-fat content.)
Did you watch that film on cheese?
Yes, it was G-rated.
Why was cream cheese banned entry during the pandemic?
Because it spreads.
Where’s the cheese grater?
Some prefer France while others say England. It all depends on your taste.
Why did the Greeks stop eating cheese?
They grew feta with it. (They grew fatter with it.)
Did you buy any cheese?
Yes, I bought a Stil’ton’.
What did Mac say when he saw her??
I think cheese the one. (I think she’s the one.)
What do cheeses of color face?
Racial dis’cream’ination. (Racial discrimination)
How do cheese text?
With Emo-cheese. (With Emojis.)
How would cheese start a journal entry?
Dear dairy… (Dear diary)
What do you call a talkative cheese?
Cheddarbox. (Chatterbox)
What was the salted cheese doing?
It was enjoying the seaside brie’ze. (breeze)
Which subject is cheese’s favorite?
Algebrie. (Algebra)
What’s the secret society of cheese called?
Halloumi-nati. (Illuminati. Halloumi is a cheese made from goat or sheep milk with a texture like a mozzarella.)
What is cheese’s political party called?
The Feta-ral Party (Federal)
What do you call when cheese meets?
They have a rind-ezvous. (They have a rendezvous.)
Why do you say he works in a cheese shop?
Because he goes to a companeer. (Company)
I don’t give edam how he goes.
(I don’t give a damn how he goes.)
What would a male cheese have?
An Edam’s apple. (An Adam’s apple)
How did the bread invite the cheese?
We’re grilled to have you with us. (We’re thrilled to have you with us.)
What do you call a pair of naughty cheese?
Partners in cream. (Partners in crime.)
What does a cheese do when one of them dies?
They do a ‘cream’ation. (They do a cremation.)
Which cheese has its own home?
Cottage cheese.
Why did the cheese get emotional?
It was full of grate-itude. (It was full of gratitude.)
Why is cheese valuable?
Because it is worth its ‘whey’t in mold. (worth its weight in gold)
What did one cheese tell its pal when it got shredded?
I’m hanging by the last shred. Be caerphil, you curd be next pal!
(I’m hanging by the last thread. Be careful, you could be next pal!)
I’m confused. Which whey do we go? (way)How is French cheese honored?
By paying them a Fromage. (By paying them a homage. Fromage is the French word for cheese.)
Why did the cheese complain?
Because it was served with wine. (whine)
Why were the cheeses sitting idly on the table?
Because it was cheese bored. (Cheeseboard)
What do you call a cheese that paints?
Artisan cheese.
What does cheese build at the beach?
They build a Roquefort.
I left the argument saying, “Who am I to dis-a-brie?”Why was the cheese delighted to see the pasta?
Seeing macs her happy. (Seeing makes her happy.)
How does cheese propose?
In queso didn’t know it, I’m fondue. (In case you didn’t know, I’m fond of you.)
What does a curious cheese say?
Whey not? (Why not?)
What does a furious cheese say?
My blood is curdling now.
What did the cheese buddies watch on movie night?
Netflix & cheese with Home Provolone. (Home Alone)
Where does cheese live?
In a cottage.
What does a pregnant cheese have?
It has a Babybel.
How does cheese introduce someone?
Halloumi to introduce… (Allow me to introduce..)
What comments did cheese receive on his assignment?
This is nacho best work. You gouda get feta. (This is not your best work. You gotta get better.)
Which cheese is the greatest of all time?
Goat cheese. (G.O.A.T.)
Why was the leader cheese annoyed at the others?
They were not acting mature for their age.
I shot a mouse on my camera. Although he didn’t say cheese, I could tell he was thinking of it. I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.
I’m sorry, we only accept cash.
Which holiday does cheese celebrate happily?
Christmas, due to the birth of Chees-us.
When does cheese go missing?
When it is pasteurized. (When it is past your eyes.)
Which cheese is the best at car racing?
Brie, coz it won the Grand Brie
What happens when a cheese cries?
It has a meltdown.
Why are you scared of that cheese?
Because he’s a muenster.
Which continent did the cheese travel to?
Asiago
Why is the cheese blue?
Because it was given some Penicillium.
What do you get when you combine a Mexican wrap with mozzarella and cream?
Burrata
What did the cheese who got amnesia say?
I camembert anything. (I can’t remember anything.)
What happened to the old cheese store?
It crumbled down.
What did the cheese tell when his friend left?
Colby when you reach home. (Call me when you reach home.)
Why did the burglar rush out of the Swiss family’s home?
Because their cheese had eyes on him.
What if cheese starred in Godzilla?
They’d have named it Gorgonzola then. (Gorgonzola is one of the world’s oldest blue cheese with a crumbly texture and sharp taste.)
Why does that burger stink?
Because it’s a Limb-urger. (Limburger is a cheese with a pungent and stinky odor with a mild flavor.)
Which cheese is Italian but sounds Roman?
Pecorino Romano.
Puns are there for every moment, be it to share a joke, or to reminisce a cringe-worthy moment, add some cheesy lines to crackle them up. They’ll make you laugh out loud and remind you of a good old-fashioned cheeseboard.
These cheese puns are sure to make your audience laugh out loud. They’re also great for kids since they can use them as their jokes.
